wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
