Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!

Fav 19 1883 941
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(601): View more from Mississippi

hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?

Fav 124 6695 2748
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(+61): View more from Australia

THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.

Fav 12 3850 1127
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(719): View more from Colorado

I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits

Fav 17 1744 985
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.

Fav 14 3708 924
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(504): View more from Louisiana

My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.

Fav 15 840 3392
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(908): View more from New Jersey

I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.

Fav 9 1523 1019
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(512): View more from Texas

You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it

Fav 0 554 327
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(813): View more from Florida

Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?

Fav 0 32 17
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