I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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