I think my vagina is haunted
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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