There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Randomize
