jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize