Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
