i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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