Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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