roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
