he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
