Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
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