I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
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