Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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