I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
