The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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