and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
