Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Randomize
