fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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