totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
