im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
