Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
