Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Ketchup is God's man juice
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
