so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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