yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
