i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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