apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
