I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
