Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize