She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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