If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Randomize
