glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Drake has all the answers
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
