last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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