I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Randomize
