Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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