They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize
