I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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