So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
