Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
