i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
