Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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