worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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