So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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