It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
That's how pantless uber rides happen
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
