playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
