Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
