So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
