my phone needs a breathalizer
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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