we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
