all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
