Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize