If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
you will always have a special place in my vag
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize