I just cut my nipple shaving
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
