Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize
