How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
