So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Randomize
