so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize
