Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
