Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
