he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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