This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
