So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
