you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Randomize
