I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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