this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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