Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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