my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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