You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Randomize
